How Moving to the Adirondacks Improved My Social Life
Posted By Jessica |
18. Jan, 2010
7 Comments
I am a classic introvert. But I’m not shy (a common misconception about introverts); my social skills aren’t lacking (at least I don’t think they’re lacking); and I DO enjoy a good party (just don’t expect me to be the life of it). It’s just that socializing wears me out. When the party is over, I’m tired, possibly a little grumpy, and in serious need of some alone time.
Case in point: As amazing as the Great Wedding Tour of ‘08 was, I locked myself in the house for three weeks when it was over in a desperate attempt to recharge my batteries.
My job in Boston was pretty fast-paced and occasionally high stress. It required lots of client interfacing, tons of meetings, some travel… all in all, I always had to be on. I often enjoyed it, in part because I was good at it. But sometimes it really drained me.
I felt the same way about the city. For the most part, I enjoyed all that it had to offer – the restaurants, the bars, the shopping. But it often just made me tired. I had a hard time with the traffic, the noise, and the sheer number of people I dealt with on a day-to-day basis.
Between my job and the city, our house was the only place to recharge my batteries. Most evenings I’d come home after work, throw on some comfy clothes and settle in for the night. Poor Dave, who had been working from home all day long, soon learned that I needed at least a half hour of “quiet time” before any productive conversation could take place between us. Dinner with friends was a rarity during weeknights. My phone would go unanswered, emails sat in my inbox, IMs were ignored – and FORGET about Facebook. I had no interest. Weekends were spent doing projects around the house and in the garden. Once, maybe twice, a month we’d go out with friends, or have friends over.
I wanted to connect to people, but I never found the time or motivation. It’s like I blew all of my social energy every day at the office and navigating the crowds at the supermarket – I had nothing left for the people I actually wanted to spend time with.
I was a little worried that moving to a tiny mountain town would only makes things worse. How was I going to maintain my friendships from 5 hours away when I had a hard time from 5 minutes away? Would I become a complete shut-in? A little extreme, I admit, but I think my mom was honestly worried about this (Hi, mom!). Or would being away from the city and friends and a 9-5 job help me be better about reaching out to people? It could have gone either way.
I’m happy to report that I have NOT, in fact, embraced the life of a hermit. I chat with friends way more often than I did before; my errands often take longer than they should because I get caught up in conversation with complete strangers; and I no longer blow off really cool events (here and here) because I’m just done for the day. I have the energy – and the desire – to respond to that e-mail, answer the phone, update my Facebook status (Hi, Ioana! Hi, Linnea!)… and keep up with this blog that I’ve really come to love.
You know what else? So far, no one’s stopped me on the street to tell me to smile. Seriously, total strangers regularly used to tell me to “put a smile on that pretty face.” It annoyed the ever loving crap out of me. I wasn’t consciously frowning, I was just… getting my shit done so I could get home.
Now, home is not my only sanctuary. I have the woods, the mountains, the lakes, the local hardware store with the adorable cat (I told you I’m obsessed). I may be physically tired after that long walk in the woods, but mentally I am ready to go.
It’s a more fulfilling life, indeed.
Oh, HI! I feel like I’ve been caught peeking through the window. Love this post.
Haha. Peek away. I gave a shout out to my mom and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even read this. :/
Heheheheheheheh, Hi, Jess!
BTW, I feel now that *I* can’t keep up with your social life! How can I subscibe to your posts so that I won’t miss them?
Hello! Can’t wait for this weekend!
You can subscribe via the RSS button in the sidebar.
Beautiful post – Moving from NYC to near Saranac Lake, I found exactly the same thing (also being a classic introvert). Wonderful thoughts! Thanks!
Hi, Phill. I have to say I’m so excited you found your way over here. I’m a big fan of the Pines. It’s a daily read. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I found a lot of inspiration and comfort in your blog before and during our move here. I still do. So, thanks for reading our blog, and for writing yours!