Our New Adirondack Hero

Well, folks, the adventure living has begun.

It didn’t take long for us flatlanders to get into some trouble here in the Adirondacks. It all started last week when it first got bitterly cold – temps were in the single digits during the day and well into negative territory at night. It was COLD by anyone’s standards. So, taking a look at the forecast, I thought it might be wise to give our fuel company a call to have them come top-off the fuel tank for our monitor heater.

For those not familiar with a monitor heater, it’s essentially a large space heater that heats the entire house. It’s a pretty common method of heating around here because of its efficiency, and our house happens to be a perfect candidate for a monitor because of its open floor plan. The whole system runs on kerosene and we have a big, 275-gallon fuel tank out back to prove it. The only problem is that the fuel gauge is on top of the tank and neither Dave or I are tall enough to see it without dragging out a ladder. A minor inconvenience in the fall or spring, but a decent pain in the butt in the winter. In any case, when we bought the house we were assured by several people that this little heater would keep us sufficiently cozy throughout the winter.

Not so bad when it's dressed up with a nice plant and a couple of photos, right?

So I called the fuel company last week to get some essential info. When was the tank last filled? What’s the price of kerosene these days? When can you get out here to top it off? The helpful lady who answered the phone told me that the previous owners had filled the tank in August and it only took 86 gallons. Based on this info, she and I surmised that we probably had a good amount of fuel left and we could safely wait until early the following week to fill it up. I made an appointment for them to come out on Monday and I hung up the phone feeling very responsible and on top of things.

The following day, Dave and I left for a scheduled trip back to Boston. We had very a important holiday party meeting to attend and our friends colleagues were counting on us to be there. When we left mid-afternoon, it was a balmy 6 degrees outside.

At 8:00 that night while I was snuggled up in the hotel room watching bad TV, my phone rang.

“Hi, Jessica. This is XXX from the fuel company again. I’m really sorry to call you so late, but I just spoke to the owner and the information I gave you before was wrong. When we filled your tank in August it didn’t just take 86 gallons, we only put in 86 gallons and it was empty before that. So we’re really worried you’re going to run out any minute and, well, it’s REALLY COLD here right now. I know you’re out of town, what do you want us to do?”

Me: “Oh, wow. Can you come first thing tomorrow morning and fill it? Here’s my credit card number. I’ll also give you my right arm and my hypothetical first-born child.”

Fuel Company Lady: “Sure, no problem!”

Again, I hung up the phone feeling very responsible.

I decided not to worry too much about it the following day as I got some Christmas shopping done and prepped for my very important party meeting. But then I got a call on my way to the bar conference hall.

“Hi, Jessica, it’s me again,” said the fuel company lady (FCL). “I just wanted to let you know that we tried to fill up your tank this morning, but we couldn’t get up your driveway. It was just too icy.”

Me: “Really. This is bad, huh?”

FCL: “Yeah, I’d say so. Do you have someone who can sand the driveway so we can try again tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes! Yes, we have a plow guy! Let me call him and see if he can help.”

So while navigating the streets of downtown Boston, I put in an emergency call to our plow guy (PG). I frantically explained the situation, and how we might, maybe, could have possibly already run out of kerosene. And could he please take pity and sand our driveway so that the fuel truck could come and try again in the morning?

PG: “Sure, no problem. It’s really cold here tonight, you know. I can stick the tank for you and if it’s low do you want me put a few gallons of kerosene in there for you?”

Me: “Yes! That would be so great!” Really?! You’d do that for me? “Wait, what if we’ve already run out? Can you check to see if the heat’s still on?”

PG: “Yeah, I can do that. But if you have run out, you’ll need someone to get in the house and restart the heater once we put some kerosene in the tank. The pipes will freeze tonight if we don’t get it back on. Do you have a caretaker who has a spare key?”

Me: “…”

PG: “Hmm, ok… I can call your neighbor. I bet she has a spare key. Let me give you a call once I’m at your house.”

Did I mention we moved to a small town? Not only does everyone know everyone else, it just so happens that our neighbor is the daughter of the previous owners of our house. And she also acted as their real estate agent when they sold it to us. Of course she would have a spare key! I started to feel a bit less panicked about the situation.

I nervously kept my phone on hand while I waited for PG to call back. I couldn’t imagine what we’d do if the pipes froze. And I was really starting to worry about our cat. He’s a Himalayan and is bred for the cold, but we’d recently given him a lion cut and shaved off all his fur. Seriously – I couldn’t make this up.

Foster trying to get cozy, sorry about the haircut!

About an hour later my phone rang.

PG: “Well, Jessica, it looks like you have run out of kerosene – the heater’s not running. And I can’t get a hold of your neighbor to see if she has a spare key.”

Me: “Oh, no. Oh, no. Can you pick the lock? Break a window? Climb down the chimney? Wait, we don’t have a chimney.”

PG: “Well, no, I don’t think so – let me just keep trying to get a hold of your neighbor.”

Me: “Right, that’s probably a better idea.”

Another agonizing few minutes went by before my phone rang yet again.

PG: “I got a hold of her. She does have a key, so I’ll get in there and check the pipes and see if I can get the heat back on.”

Another hour goes by.

PG: “Good news. The pipes aren’t frozen. Bad news. I’m having trouble getting the heater going again. I’m going to plug in some space heaters to warm it up a bit in here. It’s sub-40 in here right now. Don’t worry, the space heaters are safe and will get you through the night. Meanwhile, I’ve called the technician who originally installed the heater and he’s going to come take a look at it and see if we can get it running again.”

Me: “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I could say it a million times and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

PG: “Ah, it’s no problem. You have a good night.”

Our plow guy saved our hides. Big time. In the end he put 30 gallons of kerosene in our tank (in -12 degree weather), ran the water, checked on the cat, set up space heaters, called the technician, and came back the next day to get the heater back on after the fuel truck came (up the drive that he had sanded).

We still haven’t met him in person, but he is, without a doubt, our new Adirondack hero.

P.S. The cat is fine. We found him hunkered down in our closet where he’d made a nest out of our sweaters, cursing us for his damned haircut.

Dave and a thawed out Foster