Why I hate yoga (and the 4 things I’m doing to try to change that)
I know this seems like it is coming out of left field – and it is true, this is a pretty random article. Heck, some of my friends who read this might be surprised that I even know what yoga is. But I promise, some of the motivation behind this article will be more apparent in the next week or so. For now, just bear with me when I say… I hate yoga, and I wish I didn’t.
Bad Attitude
Ok, ok. As usual, hate is probably too strong of a word. One of my friends often tells me that I have a bad attitude about things. I’ll be ranting about how much I hate public transportation, for example, and he’ll just shake his head and pronounce that I have a bad attitude. He is right, of course. So maybe that is a better way to describe my feelings about yoga. I have a bad attitude about it.
I’m not a yoga skeptic. Let’s get that out of the way first. In fact, I would consider myself a believer, an admirer even. I watch people do yoga and it strikes me as graceful, balanced, and disciplined. It reminds me a lot of watching an elite rock climber work through a move. Powerful, yet controlled. I’d love to look and feel that way. And I know that working at yoga will help improve my performance in so many of the other athletic adventures I enjoy.
However, every time I resolve to try a session of yoga I have the same negative reaction. The things I am told I should experience seem to happen in reverse. Instead of clearing my head and feeling relaxed, my thoughts race and I feel tense. Instead of feeling limber and balanced, I feel tight and out of control.
Basically, it frustrates me and makes me feel awkward.
I am determined to try to change this. But, first, I needed to identify a few of the things that make yoga such a chore for me.
Why do I struggle with yoga?
- I get bored: I mean, really bored. I’m a scatterbrain, an incurable multi-task thinker. As I try to write this post, I also have two work emails that I have started and are half complete. I’m jumping back and forth between them and several websites as the urge and motivation hit me. Focusing on one thing for too long – especially something as monotonous as my own breathing – is a serious struggle for me. And so I labor through yoga sessions constantly trying not to think about work or what else I have going on, but never quite succeeding. It is mentally exhausting.
- I can’t touch my damn toes: Seriously, I can get to about mid-shin. I’m horribly inflexible, always have been, and this amplifies the struggles I have with yoga. It isn’t just in the opening stretches when you actually bend over and try to touch your toes… it manifests itself everywhere. Take the common move “downward dog” for example (think of a pushup position but with your kiester way up in the air). This is a pretty basic yoga position that has nothing to do with touching one’s toes, yet due to my lack of lower body flexibility almost all of my weight is forward and constantly on my arms and shoulders while in this pose. I burn out quickly and get frustrated. When I watch someone good at yoga do this move, like Jess… they seem more balanced, with pressure and weight more evenly distributed between legs and arms. Name a yoga position and I can make the same point – flexibility makes yoga easier and seemingly more enjoyable.
- I hate sucking at things: I suppose in a lot of ways it really boils down to this. I am so bad at yoga, in part due to the two reasons above, that it simply isn’t enjoyable for me. And the problem is compounded by my inability to see a clear path to getting better. It isn’t like doing push ups, where if you can’t do 20, you simply do 10, and you get a similar benefit and can work your way up to 20. It is not like you can do half of a yoga pose. Sure, you can hold a position for less time, but that doesn’t help if you can’t get into the position in the first place. Yoga’s solution to this is what they call ‘modified’ poses. They are designed for noobs like me, and involve things like putting your hand on your knee instead of on the ground. But quite frankly, I find most of them unhelpful or so different from the actual move that I’m just not getting the same experience.
It strikes me as a catch 22, in order to get good at yoga, you have to be good at yoga.
What can I do to get better?
So now that I have tried to identify some of the reasons for my bad attitude, it is time to talk about what I’m trying to do to overcome them. I have no idea if these will work, but I’m pretty committed to giving it a go.
- Buy yoga blocks: Suck it up, and just get them. Yes, it is like admitting you need training wheels, and yes, it feels weird paying for something that is literally just a block of foam. But they only cost about 10 bucks and they just about make up the difference between the floor and how far I can actually stretch. This gives me the benefit of balance that those who can reach the floor have. So while doing some poses I no longer have to precariously balance myself with my hands on my shins or dangling free, with all of my energy focused on not flopping over like a tipped cow. I can use the block to help stabilize myself and actually concentrate on the the move and the alignment of my body. These little cubes of nerf goodness don’t help with every move, but they help with enough that I no longer feel like I’m useless throughout an entire session.
- Improve my general flexibility: Sure, yoga helps with flexibility. But as I mentioned, it comes off as a bit of a catch 22 to me. Yoga seems to really help with your flexibility… if you are already somewhat flexible. I am not. I’m so inflexible that I’m not getting the proper work from many of the poses. I need to improve my general flexibility outside of yoga, and have decided to do this by also concentrating on the stretch movements in my other workouts.
- Shorten my yoga workouts: Until I get better at the entire experience – from clearing my mind, to breathing, to actual poses – I am going to keep my workouts short. Pushing on for an hour and a half when I am unable to stop thinking about work or am frustrated over feeling awkward is counter productive. I get little out of it and it feeds my bad attitude. Far better, it seems to me, is to bite off a chunk of time when I can give it my all and not feel completely defeated afterward. I may not be able to stay focused and positive about the experience for 90 minutes, but I can sure come close to 45.
- Accept the struggle: This is the one I’m going to have the hardest time with, but I need to accept that this is a struggle for me. That it isn’t something that comes easily or naturally. Working on your weaknesses is what makes you better all around… right? So, I need to stop caring that I suck at yoga, and realize it is a challenge… a process. Overcoming, or just continuing to fight against the struggle is part of what will make yoga so rewarding. At least I hope!
And if I stick with it, maybe – just maybe – I’ll experience some of the control, and the balance, and the power that I admire in others.
As mentioned, my ‘out of the blue’ yoga obsession will make a bit more sense in a week or so, but until then, wish me luck as I continue with my yoga adventures. And if you have any tips or advice for me (besides “stop whining”), please pass them along… the help is always appreciated and I love hearing from everyone.
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Sometimes I think that when Thoreau went into the woods so that he could live deliberately it was the most difficult thing to do – an examined life, a reflective life, is difficult. Yoga is an examined, reflective exercise – it is difficult. I spend 90 minutes of Ashtanga yoga (first trying not to fall over, second trying to breathe) trying to not think – to achieve that meta state that allows me the distance and detachment necessary for true reflection and examination. I am not sure I have ever achieved it, but I believe the journey is the important thing, so the failure is actually good. And the poses (the blocks helped me and a nice yoga belt as well) are microcosms of the larger journey – so each time I fail I know my failure is closer than yesterday’s failure. And when I was really into it I actually achieved a backbend and a handstand (while always failing at any of the twistier poses). And those who are really good should also be always failing as they try to move through the series.
I imagine true Buddhism to be like this – you push yourself to enlightenment and it is the pushing that reaches nirvana which is of value not the nirvana.
I don’t know if that helps – but it helped my type A overachieving self (or, I should say, continues to help)
Leah, THANK YOU for having the patience and insight to say exactly what I’ve been thinking. I only get frustrated, roll my eyes, and walk away when his yoga-tude takes over. Not exactly helpful – s’pose I should work on that myself.
Of course, I should add, that at least Dave is trying. Whenever I try to get Paul to consider how fabulous yoga is he just looks at me with a blank look – as if to say, without a ball, what is the point?
I think you are definitely in one of the best places to try it out. The super crowded yoga studios I’ve seen around here are the opposite of an incentive to go.
As for bad attitude… can we all be a little honest and admit that sometimes bad attitude is adaptive, and funny too.
Nooo, don’t encourage the bad attitude!
Ok, fine, sometimes it’s funny. Other times… it’d be easier to just put him out of his misery. Oh, and this is all yoga from a DVD, in the comfort of our living room… imagine if there were OTHER PEOPLE to deal with.